For years now my daughters have been urging that I smoke weed
They can’t believe I missed out in the swinging sixties and feel there is still time to rectify such a glaring omission. I argue that my credentials are good – after all I did marry their father - a new-age hippie who smoked pot in a cave in Devon bedecked with beads in the days of flower-power.
Nope, they said, I needed to try it personally.
One of my dearest friends recently gave in to her son’s similar urging and, under a starry sky, rode a dragon – a magnificent bleached tree trunk thrown up on a New Zealand beach by winter storms. She joined the chorus.
My answer has always been the same
I really have never wanted to try it; I might like it and the last thing I need is another addiction. Wine and gin slings are surely enough. I staunchly fought off the suggestion that weed should be on my bucket list and felt confident that I’d finally reached an age of being able to hold my ground… I was a little smug about my ability to rebuff addiction.
The addiction would turn out to be a different kind of buzz...
I got a smart phone. Another 'girls’ idea'. I kept loyal for years to my little old Nokia but the girls wore me down and I succumbed. I could not refuse, for I knew I was trying their patience, calling them from afar asking them about timetables or directions.
Well let me tell you, weed would have been a cinch compared to this!
This is addiction 101. I grab my phone as I wake up and roll over jabbing at the keys. You’ll see me in supermarket queues, waiting rooms, on buses and trains, no longer engrossed in a paperback or indulging in a little contemplation, but checking the news or Facebook. Ninety percent cute animals and small children that aren't mine. Posts to share for a million likes and every day a birthday that I never knew about before.
Clickbait has me in its thrall...
I can feel my eyes glazing when I flick from Trump to Brexit and whizz past ScoMo. Had I missed out on the last six months of them and just picked up the news now, I would have missed nothing!
Maybe I could lose the phone and get stoned. Or get stoned and lose the phone!
It has made for an easy New Year’s Resolution - I’m following Lifehackers Ten Tips to reduce my addiction - Ten, isn’t it meant to be Twelve?